being here...

Being in the present is something I've been working on as of late. I find I'm regularly asking myself "Am I in the here and now?" and depending on the answer, I usually have to shift some priorities and retrain my thoughts so that I am. I have missed some things over the last few years, because I am off somewhere else in my mind. When I'm with my children, I sometimes am a world away in my mind... I'm off on a journey inside my heart digging with a spade to see what's under this layer, or I'm trying to wade through the fog that has settled on this other expanse of my heart, WHILE I'm trying to be a mom... doing the mom things, making lunch, listening to their stories, and WHILE I'm answering their questions about life. How can I be somewhere else, WHILE I'm being asked to be present? Why the distance between the here and now, to the place that I can get lost in (my thoughts). Being present is a truely awe inspiring thing... as I learn to do it more and more, I find myself awaken to my senses being more stimulated than I realized was possible. The birds chirp louder, the kids laugh is more infectious, and the sting of saddness for what I've lost to the times I've failed to be in the here and now, more painful.

Interesting it is...

the here and now...

in today...

if I journey away from it and into somewhere else and into the caverns of my mind and heart... I sense I'm missing so much of what God is revealing to me.

I wonder if I don't have to really dig to figure stuff out, but that the more I am present in the here and now, in the present reality, then, THEN, the figuring out of stuff with just unfold in it's own sweet time.

Here and now...

here and now...

I'm in the here and now...