So, I'm at a point where I'm contemplative over can I express again? Can I do it without caring what my voice sounds like to others ears, and instead just center on what it feels like to hear my thoughts while resting in my own skin? I like being free to say and feel and think out loud... but I remember the regret to of commiting to something, even if it is as little as writing it down somewhere, where it becomes visually permanent. Logging a thought into permanence, even though two minutes from now I move on and change and shift... how can I live comfortably knowing that at one point and time I thought out words and expression of something that I afterwards and in another season, I will feel differently from, and moved on from. How can journaling the thought and the progression away from it, or deeper beyond it, coexist? I know they can, and they do inside me all day every day... but somehow the journaling of it, makes it more concrete, where as at least with my mind, I find that they fade away into the vast chasm of me. Somehow that's more humane than leaving them sitting out there in a cyber journal to collect with other older thoughts that were moved on from.
hmmm... do I have a lot to say? Do I even like Blogger? Is this where I want to say whatever it is I say? Does it matter? I'm not sure... maybe I just need to first focus on what the whispers are saying and if I can hear them.
I hope that once I listen to them a bit more, they'll rise in their decibel so I don't have to strain and focus so hard to hear them.
This world is not all about me... I am so thankful for that.
